SFTS Seminary Day

Tomorrow I am going to a "Seminary Day," which amounts to something like an open house, at the Pasadena campus of San Francisco Seminary. This will be quite helpful for me in deciding where I fit in. To be totally honest, I am as unsure about my direction now as I have ever been. I don't quite know where I fit in or if I fit in anywhere. I have all these ambitions floating around in my head and I don't even know if I am adequate for any of them. I have a profound sense that I am supposed to enter either pastoral ministry, academic scholarship, or both. I wish I could say right now that I feel "called" in one direction or another but I'm afraid my feeling right now is uncertainty mixed with undefined passion. So it seems the best thing to do from here is to simply start the ordination process, start seminary (assuming I can find a way to afford it) and move from there. Hopefully after tomorrow I'll have a better feel for how or if I fit in at SFTS.