Hearing God

God is not easy to hear. We may beg for Him to speak to us but He remains silent. Is He ignoring us? Is He too busy? Because I wouldn’t really blame Him. What am I that He would listen to me, that I would expect Him to listen to me? There are people with much greater needs than mine that He should be paying more attention to. In fact it’s probably my fault that those people have such great need. All the money I spend in my life on my desires, spoiling myself, could be spent healing the world. But here I am, crying out to God expecting Him to listen. How selfish of me… how arrogant.

The beauty in all this is that God, for some reason, chooses to listen to me and even suffer with me. No problem is too small for God. He cares so much for me that despite my arrogance and my ignorance He wants me to be made whole. He has immersed Himself in my life even my daily life. He has experienced at my side everything I have experienced. He is even more intimate with my situation than I am, He sees beyond the storm and know His plans. But why can’t I know them? Now, I don’t wish to know them, lest I be wresting something from God’s hand that He doesn’t want me to have. I only wish He’d speak louder to guide me. I only wish that I may take this next step in His direction. Let it be mysterious if it must but let it be indeed.

I will slow down now. I will be quiet now and hear you in the sound of gentle whispers.

“And as Elijah stood there, the LORD passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 13When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.”
_1 Kings 19.11-13


H. West said…

I feel sort of like you have read my mind.. or maybe my blog... haha. no, but really, I feel like this is something i have been wrestling with for a while now. What are we supposed to expect or desire? I do not know... Thanks for putting words to my ache. It's good to know someone else is feeling the same way.

I hope you are recovering back to real life well after the conference,

Agent X said…
I care too. Remember you have godly friends; you are part of a godly community (even in blogdom). Though of course, it is God who counts most.

Many blessings...
I love the places in the Bible that say that God's voice is like the sound of many waters, or like thunder. I love to stand by a rushing river, or in the middle of a thunder storm, listening to the sound of His voice. I only wish I could understand what He was saying.