Meet Bobby... Bobby is one of those high achieving kids. At school, he’s an “A” student who sits in the front of the class, actually does his homework, and (gasp!) studies for tests. Bobby’s also a pole vaulter on the track and field team. He’s always among the first to arrive and the last to leave. His coaches consider him to be one of the team’s leaders and an example to his teammates. They hold him to a high standard and, just like in his event, he works hard to clear the bar.
For Bobby, church is no different. When he comes to Sunday School, he always brings his Bible with him and is the first to find the Bible passage when the youth minister calls it out. At youth group, he loves to play games, but when it’s time to sit down for Bible study, he never hesitates. He shuffles to the front couch in the youth room and when the youth minister asks, “Who wants to pray for us?” the fingers of most of the other kids in the room often point to him. When Bobby is a senior, he’ll be a shoe-in to preach on Youth Sunday, and his youth minister is just sure he’d be a great pastor someday if he wants to be.
Sarah is what we call a problem child. She’s not interested in school. She sits in the back of the class and rarely has what she needs with her. She knows what her teachers expect of her—she’s been made to know, all too well, through compulsory visits to the principal’s office and angry lectures from her parents—but she’s become numb to those expectations through a few too many failures. She’s on the drama team, but finds it pointless to audition for the lead roles, since those seem to always go to the same kids anyway.
For Sarah, church is no different. She goes to church because her parents want her to be there… and she knows her parents are really only there because they want her to be there too. In vain, her youth minister has invited her several times to sing with the worship team or start a drama club in the youth group. She’s been told that God wants to “use” her. Sarah is tired of being used. She politely smiles and declines.
She sits through the Bible studies, listening to all the expectations God and her youth minister have of her. But she knows a thing or two about expectations. She listens while she texts her friends on her cell phone—a safe haven to which she must discretely retreat from the barrage of “calls to action” … until her youth minister takes the phone away, of course. Sarah will never preach on a Youth Sunday, as even praying out loud would be just short of traumatic for her, and she’ll never live up to the standards to which she’s told her God and her youth minister seem to hold her.
This article was originally published at Kindred Youth Ministry in February, 2017.