words of inspiration

Last night Ashley and I met with Mike Devries, a good friend of mine (whose quite farther along in his journey, but still a friend) for dinner before we went to the "Chabad Jewiwsh Center" to listen to Rabbi Zalman Marcus talk about "Heaven and Hell" (I'll post on this later.)

I already posted yesterday about our trip to Malibu.

While we were waiting for Mike in the parking lot I got a voice message from the chruch who I'm going with. Now, by this time I was working through my nervouseness. I was doing fine with it, thinking "I'll be fine... it'll only be a few kids... they're not expecting much from me... what could they possibly expect?... I'll be fine." Well the message screwed that all up. They were trying to make the name tags and they needed Ashley's first and last name and they wanted to know what to formally adress me as. "do you go by Pastor Ellis, Evangelist, or simply mr. Ellis?"

WHAT!

I called them back and without sounding like a dummy I tryed to explain who I was. I said "I don't know how much Robin told you about me but, reall, I'm just a student at Azusa Pacific and my first name is just fine." I wanted to say "I'm just a kid, please have mercy." When I talked to Mike I told him the whole story with hopes of some encouraging word, a tid bit of inspiration just enough to launch me into a confident battle with my "giant" and leave me without a doubt. Mike's inspirational response; "good luck" (with a chuckle). Let's just say it wasn't the conforting response I was waiting for.

to add to my disconfort I read the e-mail they sent me. There are 60 (not 20) high school and college students (not just high school) registered and they're still calling me "Mr. Ellis."

To be honest, I am ready to pee my pants and I'm not even in Malibu yet, I haven't even met these people yet. I have never been more incredibly nervouse for anything. God help me. please pray for me.