Tuesday, August 16, 2005
words of inspiration
Last night Ashley and I met with Mike Devries, a good friend of mine (whose quite farther along in his journey, but still a friend) for dinner before we went to the "Chabad Jewiwsh Center" to listen to Rabbi Zalman Marcus talk about "Heaven and Hell" (I'll post on this later.)
I already posted yesterday about our trip to Malibu.
While we were waiting for Mike in the parking lot I got a voice message from the chruch who I'm going with. Now, by this time I was working through my nervouseness. I was doing fine with it, thinking "I'll be fine... it'll only be a few kids... they're not expecting much from me... what could they possibly expect?... I'll be fine." Well the message screwed that all up. They were trying to make the name tags and they needed Ashley's first and last name and they wanted to know what to formally adress me as. "do you go by Pastor Ellis, Evangelist, or simply mr. Ellis?"
I called them back and without sounding like a dummy I tryed to explain who I was. I said "I don't know how much Robin told you about me but, reall, I'm just a student at Azusa Pacific and my first name is just fine." I wanted to say "I'm just a kid, please have mercy." When I talked to Mike I told him the whole story with hopes of some encouraging word, a tid bit of inspiration just enough to launch me into a confident battle with my "giant" and leave me without a doubt. Mike's inspirational response; "good luck" (with a chuckle). Let's just say it wasn't the conforting response I was waiting for.
to add to my disconfort I read the e-mail they sent me. There are 60 (not 20) high school and college students (not just high school) registered and they're still calling me "Mr. Ellis."
To be honest, I am ready to pee my pants and I'm not even in Malibu yet, I haven't even met these people yet. I have never been more incredibly nervouse for anything. God help me. please pray for me.
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"...do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, 20for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you." Matthew 10:19-20
Honey, well I would love to say we'll be fine, although I think we are equally nervous. Well you just asked me to come over and hand you the index cards in front of you so I will see you in like a mila-second!
haha...wes....you will look back on this and wonder why on earth you were nervous! you will be awesome and im excited for you! send some of that nervousness over here! i'll take it for you!
To quote Rob Bell's interpretation of God's calling on our lives, "You can do it! If you couldn't do it, I wouldn't have called you!" So many times just in the past few months, these words have totally brought me through, even if it was while i was thinking, "Yeah, GOd, whatever you say..." Even if this is a total flop from even a worldly point of view (which i doubt it will be), it will mean everything in God's world becuase he doesn't make mistakes-- everything he does, he does for a reason.
He has equipped you,
You can do it!
Like I said before...you're going to do great. You have a chance to open the eyes of those 60 people who will be listening to you. You have amazing insight, much more than most people let alone the age group you're speaking to. Keep you chin up and know that people are praying for you, my husband and myself included. :)
the unknown, the first time, noone alive trembles more then at these forks in ones life. fear, well there is only one we should fear and when we fear Him rightly that is the beginning of wisdom. therefore wisdom should be welling up within you. like any well once the pump is primed and water is flowing... Christ said He is the living water let Him grab a hold of the pump (medafore-spelling)seek His face while down on yours and His water will flow giving life to all who would dring 20, 60, 100+.
I always say WOW to you Wes! I think that I would've been freaking too. Let us know the end. All will be great!
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